Category Archives: Suicide Prevention

Money. It makes the world go ‘round, right?

Posted on December 7, 2012 by | 1 Comment

Money. It makes the world go ‘round, right? Or does it? Perhaps at no other time during the year does this statement seem truer than during the holidays. A recent survey conducted on holiday stress identified parents as being one of the most vulnerable groups for holiday financial stress. For all of those parents out there this comes as no surprise, right? Perhaps your kids, like mine, have already drafted their Santa Claus ‘manifestos’ detailing every last item on their Christmas wish-list. And maybe we ought to be up front here, we adults have our Santa lists as well. With the ever-growing exposure to media ads and other enticements to amass material possessions, the holidays can literally become dreadful, rather than joyful.

In addition, it seems there is a monumental tension between our desire to give and the projected need by those around us to receive. We are torn between the desire to purchase great things for those we love, and the actual monetary amount we have available to spend. What does all of this add up to – stress!
Whether we like it or not, financial stress seems to be a holiday guest that may not be leaving anytime soon. So, the question is what are some ways to navigate your way through this type of stress during the holidays? I’d like to take a stab at some ways this might be done:

• The first step really has to do with simple awareness; awareness that stress is on the docket for the holiday season. Being aware of the inevitable fact of stress will help create a healthy foundation to address stress when it mounts. In other words, embrace the reality of stress!

• Second, it is important to take the time to communicate openly and honestly with family and friends about holiday expectations. Are there parameters to the gift giving? Is travel on the agenda? What does the budget look like, and how does that reconcile with those expectations? Taking the time to discuss expectations—even with children—will help mitigate much of the financial stress associated with trying to please some imagined, and otherwise non-communicated, objectives.

• Third, be creative! Awareness and communication usually lead to deeper understanding about oneself and others. Find creative ways to introduce a new family or communal tradition. For example, this year my wife and I decided to have our children exchange names for a “gift” swap of sorts. But, this time around they are going to find ways to serve and surprise their “person” multiple times during the month of December, culminating with a gift they either create or offer up from their own toy stash. Creativity not only eases the burden and stress on the pocket book, but also it becomes the means to creating lifelong memories, which have a tendency to help anchor important relationships.

Take time to commemorate and celebrate the spiritual side of the holidays. Whether it is the Christmas season, and its focus on Jesus’ humble birth in Bethlehem, the Jewish Hanukkah, with its memorial to the miraculous temple lights, or focusing in on nature’s gift in the form of Solstice celebrations, take time to connect with your own, non-commercialized side of the holidays. This type of connection can bring meaning and purpose into a season otherwise drenched with a frenetic combination of shopping and wrapping.

While I would be naive (and unaware) to consider money an inconsequential player during the holidays, perhaps it’s not too much to think there are some ways to mitigate the stress we associate with it. My wish for all of us this holiday season is that we attempt to communicate expectations, be creative, and hone in on the spiritual side of the holidays. If we do, we may be filled with peace and an added ability to minimize the financial stress, often associated with this time of year.

About the author…
Chaplain David Ryan Williams is the 3d Battalion 1st Marines Chaplain at Camp Pendleton, CA. Prior to becoming a Navy Chaplain, he served as a staff Chaplain at St. Mark’s Hospital in Salt Lake City, Utah and a US Air Force Reserve Chaplain at Hill Air Force Base, Utah. Chaplain Williams resides with his wife and five children in San Clemente, California.

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Establishing your own holiday traditions may reduce stress

Posted on November 16, 2012 by | 3 Comments

Let’s be honest- spending time with family can be great, but it can also be stressful. As we approach the holidays, we are flooded with memories and emotions. Perhaps work constraints will not allow you to spend time with any family. Maybe you’re in a new relationship, and you’re torn between whose family to spend the holidays with, or how to share your time equally. You may have been married for years but still haven’t been able to crack the code on the holiday routine.

There has to be a better way to make a decision than pulling on the Thanksgiving turkey wishbone, right? I love the movie “Four Christmases,” because it epitomizes the struggles some of us encounter around the holidays. We are supposed to rest and celebrate, when, in reality, too often we argue and wear ourselves out in order to live up to our extended family’s expectations. We do all this only to return to work more exhausted than we were before the “break.”
What should you do?

• First, communicate your desires with your family well in advance. They may be blissfully unaware of the stress they are causing you. They may not like the idea of you spending Thanksgiving with them, Christmas with the in-laws and New Year’s Eve with your friends, however, letting them know well in advance gives them the opportunity to get upset and get over it before the holiday hustle is in full swing.

• Second, take time to pray and/or meditate. We know that to be a healthy person, we need to maintain physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well being. When we are on leave, we are with our family and friends for much longer periods of time than usual. With such a disrupted routine, we can get irritable and ruin our holiday experience. Making time to pray and/or meditate allows us to center and focus on enjoying our time, instead of avoiding time together.

• Third, determine whether or not going home for the holidays is even the best idea. Even if you are in the continental United States, there are times when traveling home is not the best idea economically nor possible due to your and/or your spouse’s work constraints.

It’s important to establish your own holiday traditions. No matter where service to our country takes you, your children will find a sense of stability in the traditions established in your home. You don’t have to try to recreate Christmas at grandmas. Do what you can to make the holiday special for your family, without turning you into the “Grinch!” Creating family customs can be fun. For example I enjoy a healthy dose of sarcasm. Therefore, every Columbus Day we eat Indian food (i.e. coconut chicken curry) because Christopher Columbus thought he’d sailed to India when he landed in America. It’s weird, I know, but when I tell my kids why we do it, they crack up, and my wife loves Indian food, a win-win and it brings a sense of familiarity and tradition no matter where we live.

Finally, if you are away from all of your family this holiday season don’t become a recluse. There are others you are deployed or stationed with in the same situation. Get together with them and enjoy food and laughs together. You’ll learn about different cultures, even if you are in the United States, when you share holiday food favorites with other folks. Take time to share some of the holiday traditions you and your family have. Finally, call your family or video chat with them if it is feasible. It will brighten up the holiday for you and your family and help you feel close, even if you’re far away.

About the author…
Chaplain Jonathan Henderson serves as the Deputy Command Chaplain at Naval Station Newport, RI. He and his wife have been married for 13 years and are expecting their fifth child; Talk about the challenges of navigating stress! Prior to military service, he was a civilian pastor for 3 years and worked in the cellular phone industry for 10 years.

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Resilience Is What Sets Our Navy Apart

Posted on November 8, 2012 by | Leave a comment

We hear the word resilience a lot, often taking on different meanings for different people based on their experiences. For some it’s an ability to ‘bounce back’ from stress, for others it’s just another term for personal strength.

The Navy defines resilience as the “capacity to withstand, recover, grow and adapt in the face of stressors and changing demands.” That means it’s not just the ability to bounce back from a stressful situation, but also the capacity to actually perform better during stressful situations. Many of the Navy’s people programs are rooted in Operational Stress Control, focusing on prevention and using feedback, assessment, analysis, and research to integrate efforts and advance training and outreach. Some of those results reveal a few key elements that can be used to guide the understanding of resilience and how to implement stress control. These core elements are:

Predictability
Controllability
Relationships
Trust
Meaning

How many times have you had a completely stress-free holiday season? We know this time of year can be as hectic and exhausting as it is joyous. During the holidays, it’s especially important for Sailors and families to understand how we can help each other reduce stress levels by planning and communicating-and having fun!

Over the next few weeks we’ll tie in some of the recommendations offered by other programs in Navy News Stand Stories to the principles above. We’ll highlight some simple things that can you get ahead of holiday stress. By reducing stress, we hope this potentially joyous time of year will provide the break needed to help our Navy become stronger and more resilient.

Read about the principles of Resilience and Stress Control (click here to get the pdf)

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It’s time to start budgeting for the holidays!

Posted on October 31, 2012 by | 2 Comments

It’s almost here! And there’s no turning back, the holiday season is upon us once again. Retailers and advertisers know it, your friends, family and especially children are keenly aware of what the next nine weeks is expected to bring. So hold it there for just a moment! STOP! What was that key word just mentioned? “Expected.” So first things first, let’s talk about holiday expectations.

As you are reading this, you may realize that you just may fall into one of two categories of shoppers – the planners or the procrastinators. Regardless of such labeling, one thing is certain; you will not survive the holidays financially without a well thought out and realistic plan. It may sound like a painful process to some – it’s really not – but what would you rather have; burdens to greet you in 2013 or a sense of accomplishment and relief? We will assume the latter.

Planning is about shaping expectations on both sides; for the giver and also for the recipient. The giver must define boundaries and set limits and then use those findings to make the recipient aware of what can be expected. So what happens if you have always done things the other way around – so that the recipient was in charge of shaping expectations? Well, starting anew is a likely strategy. As relationships change overtime, new expectations can be talked about, developed and implemented. It’s that simple, let’s not add or take away from this idea. Now it’s time to get practical and actually develop your holiday spending plan.

First Things First!Start by first examining your holiday priorities; figure out what is most important to you. Instead of spending your hard-earned money on something because it is a holiday tradition, make sure it is a holiday tradition that is important to you and your family. Before you start setting limits, first ask yourself these questions:

Which holiday activities do I enjoy most?
What holiday traditions bring the most joy?
What motivates my holiday spending?

Try, or better yet – DO NOT, spend out of habit, obligation or guilt.

As this point, use the attached Cost of our Happy Holiday worksheet to make a list of holiday gift giving expectations – don’t forget to check it twice!

Step Two – Determine Your Spending Limit & Know Your Products
Use your list to set a limit for what you will spend on each category, or better yet, for each purchase. When completed, add these figures to determine your holiday spending limit. And now the moment of truth! What is the maximum you will spend on holiday expenses this year? Be realistic about limits and make sure that whatever you elect to spend will not exceed what you can afford. Moreover, it’s futile to craft a spending plan and not be aware of market prices, retailer ads and deals around town. So do a little research and understand how you will match your purchase dollars with items for sale (clip, cut and stack coupons for best results!).

The third thing: A Necessary Evil! Track Your Expenses

As you pay for holiday purchases this year, track your expenses to ensure that you stay within established spending limits. Take your worksheet with you when you go shopping. Keep a small notebook with you to track all of your holiday expenses. This is the single most important thing you can do to stay true to your priorities and objectives. You can use this information to determine next year’s holiday spending plan and then establish a monthly allotment or transfer into your savings account for the next holiday go around.

Here are some alternative gift-giving options you may want to consider:
- Use the time and talents of your entire family in gift alternatives. Make or bake stuff! Decorate and serve. Volunteer as a family to help your neighbors, friends and relatives. You could even make a coupon and give it as a present, redeemable for babysitting, lawn, etc.
- Use Google and You Tube to find live instructions on making different homemade craft items that your recipients may consider meaningful and symbolic.
- Giving of your time and attention; have a night out, visit the park – give the things that truly matter

Success will follow if you follow through!

Resources:

1. Holiday Budget Calculator
2. Holiday Budget Worksheet

About the author…

Stacy Livingstone-Hoyte, AFC™ has served at the Fleet & Family Support Center, Millington, TN as a Financial Counselor since Nov 2009. She conducts one-on-one sessions, Command training, group workshops and other efforts designed to meet the “Mission Readiness” goal of the U.S. Armed Forces. Prior to government service she worked as a Financial Services Representative for several brokerage and insurance firms. As a military spouse, Ms Livingstone-Hoyte knows firsthand of the financial challenges and opportunities that face Military families across the globe. To that end, she embraces a steadfast belief that financial success can be simple, just not easy.

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Posted in OSC, Resilience, Resources, Suicide Prevention, Tools

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And the winner is…

Posted on September 28, 2012 by | 1 Comment

The moment many of you have been waiting for is here! After receiving nineteen entries from small Seabee Units, Naval hospitals and clinics, Navy Operations Support Centers, CSADD Chapters and even aircraft carriers, the winners of the 2012 Suicide Prevention Public Service Announcement Contest have been chosen! With so many quality entries, it was hard to select just a single “best.” The three winning submissions are…

Navy Suicide Prevention PSA There is Hope

There is Hope – The team from the USS Ronald Reagan Media Department (CVN 76) did an outstanding job of addressing the many risk factors for suicide, illustrating that it’s never the result of a single event or factor. Relationship and/or financial problems, stress, anxiety, and uncertainty are all potential risk factors for suicidal behavior, particularly when combined with feelings of hopelessness. The video highlights these stressors while ending in a positive light by emphasizing that helping someone to realize that there is hope can also help them see that Life is Worth Living.

Navy Suicide Prevention PSA Find Your Light

Find Your Light – Leave it to CSADD to depict such a strong message with extraordinary creativity! The Save Our Sailors Chapter of the Coalition of Sailors Against Destructive Decisions Naval Medical Center San Diego again highlighted the negative perceptions that contribute to suicidal thoughts, as well as other risk factors like alcohol abuse. Illustrating the message “It’s Okay to Speak up When You’re Down,” when a Shipmate took the time to ACT, the distressed Sailors saw that their lives and stressors mattered to someone. Furthermore, the Sailors realized that someone cared enough to help them get assistance to address these issues so that they could again believe that Life is Worth Living.

Don’t Weight! It’s Okay to Speak Up When You’re Down. – This entry was filmed entirely with a Smartphone! The Navy Operational Support Center San Antonio team has a great grasp on the weight that life’s challenges can have on us, and how our responsibilities may keep us from believing that we can speak up when we’re down. The video interweaves suicide prevention resources, a visual definition of ACT, while again reinforcing that Sailors take care of Sailors.

Winners are now available for viewing by clicking the above links. They will also air on Direct to Sailor television aboard Navy ships, reaching a potential Navy and Marine Corps audience of over 145,000 daily, and will be provided to the American Forces Network and Pentagon Channel.

Bravo Zulu to all entrants! Each submission showed an immense amount of thought, time, energy and effort in promoting lives worth living among fellow Sailors. Share the winning PSA’s with your command, family and friends!

For official announcement of contest winners, visit navy.mil

For more information on the Suicide Prevention Public Service Announcement Contest, reference NAVADMIN 218/12.

For more information on Navy Suicide Prevention visit www.suicide.navy.mil

For confidential 24/7 help call the Veterans Crisis Line at 1-800-273-TALK, option 1.

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